The Mother-in-law Syndrome

The quintessential Indian mother in law (MIL) often behaves like a tigress when it comes to the credentials of her marriageable son. This phenomenon cascades across regions, caste, economic conditions, race or religion. A typically Indian phenomenon which occurs regularly every time a mother is hunting for a “wife” for her son, akin to a tigress on the prowl for a kill.

This phenomenon often reminds me of the attitude of the industry where we place our students.
Like the archetypal Indian MIL, the HR Manager of the studio/industry believes that her “son” (the job in question) deserves the very best “wife” (the candidate applying for this job) and must carry enough “dowry” (skills) irrespective of what the son can offer in return (salary, working conditions, etc.).

Constantly paraded in front of prospective “husbands”, the poor “to be wife” suddenly realizes that she is not fit to exist in this world, and is not suitable to be married at all. A sense of self defeat envelops most. Some get motivated and become crusaders, some resign to their fate and some play to the gallery.

This is not the end of the ordeal. In most cases even after the marriage, the daughter-in-law is often rebuked and her mother blamed for everything she does not know. Seldom is she appreciated for what she knows and what she excels in.

Most mothers in laws will not specify what she expects from her daughter in law and expects the mother of the bride to know everything in advance.

Does it not remind you of what happens to students coming out of training institutes? The industries where they are placed expect them to know exactly what they want and blame the institutes for not teaching them what they should know. Seldom do they specify to the institutes their exact requirements in advance.

They believe that the training institutes are out to make a killing from the fees that they charge and do little to train the students to the requirements of the industry. A belief which makes the industry suspicious of the training institutes and a belief which is as far from truth as can be. I call this the “mother in law syndrome”.

I know that this statement will evoke sharp response from the industry and they will never accept this theory, like a typical MIL, again.

However, instead of getting into this endless debate, institutes have certain responsibilities and need to do their job irrespective of the attitude of the industry. The fact of the matter is that they cannot ignore the industry and vice versa.

In light of the above, I would suggest certain steps that training institutes need to take to combat the MIL phenomenon. (This is for the animation training institutes)

1. Concentrate on concepts with tools as aids instead of the other way around.
2. Encourage lateral thinking by organizing competitions in creativity.
3. Organize seminars and request industry to speak about their requirements.
4. Encourage students to highlight specific skills (not tools) instead of everything they know.
5. Expose them to external competitions and send entries for the numerous awards.
6. Attract trainers exposed to the requirements of the industry.
7. Downsize the expectations of the students when they enroll with us.
8. Be in constant touch with the industry by participating in various meets and seminars conducted by FICCCI, TASI, ASIFA etc.
9. Do not be afraid to experiment.
10. Go back to the basics.

If I survive this article and if you want me to, maybe some time in the future, I will write in details about these steps.
True, we are in this business for profits but then who isn’t? Before signing off, I will also request the industry not to be suspicious of the training institutes but instead to collaborate with them since no grumbling MIL has ever achieved her objective. It is only by collaboration that the two can together create a vast pool of human resource which can act as a true win-win proposition for both.

Ramesh Kumar Ruia
(Director, Arena Animation – Park Street, Kolkata)

[For comments and reactions please write to ramesh@arenaparkstreet.com]
[For antedote to the MIL Syndrome, visit http://arenaparkstreet.blogspot.com]